What does self-care mean to you? Self -care is one of the most underrated things that we do. If you’re a parent, you understand that self-care is usually last on your list of things today.
Throughout the years, I was never the type of woman to wear make-up. I loved getting my hair and nails done and would occasionally shop for clothing. Once I had children, I stopped getting my nails done, my hair would get pulled into a ponytail, and I still refused to wear makeup. I started to feel ugly, rejected, frustrated, and did not love myself because of the superficial things. I stopped giving myself self-care.
When I wrote one of my first blogs, I talked about all the ways to love you. Working out, meditation, yoga, weaves, makeup, and speaking to yourself in the mirror. I did not give you, however, the key to self-care, and that is mental health.
When we think of mental health, we think of some whacko in a straight jacket that needs to be heavily medicated. But, what if I told you mental health is for those like you and me. Regular, everyday wives, husbands, parents, and friends.
In society, we get so wrapped up in all the superficial things and take for granted the most important thing, which is our lively hood.
I’m not saying that you cannot wear makeup, weaves, or designer items, but my question to you, what about these things sparks joy within you?
If you have to wear these things to keep up with your spouse, family, friends, or my personal favorites, the Joneses’, then there is something more deeply rooted within.
Growing up, I wasn’t rich, and we weren’t poor, I guess you could call us lower-middle class. My mom supported three girls by herself and did an astounding job. With everything she did do, I felt I wanted and needed more. I wanted the designer bags, the newest outfits, and flyest shoes just like everyone else. When I went off to college, I got a credit card, a job, and made my dream a reality. Well, like all dumb college students who think they are grown, my reality bit me in the butt. I went into debt, and had to dig my way out of the trenches of this thing called life (the game of life doesn’t get nearly as much credit as it should).
After dealing with debt and being harassed by debt collectors, I knew it was time to get my crap together. Who was I trying to impress, and why? I was trying to impress the kids who teased me, trying to impress those who I called friends. I was trying to impress the guys who liked me. What I was, was an idiot!
Although I wasn’t in therapy until this year, I knew that keeping up with everyone else was no longer a thing for me. I had to claw my way out of this materialistic mindset. I had to dig deeper to figure out why this was important to me. Honestly, it wasn’t relevant to me at all. I just wanted to show people I could be a cool kid like them. It was definitely a mental thing.
I started giving my self true self-care and that was self-love. You see, when you truly, love, appreciate and cherish who you are, you become mentally stable and careless about who feels what way about you.
This week, when you decide to do your self-care ritual, think about something out of the ordinary. Think about how you can improve within your mental life. If you have to go into debt, beg, borrow, or steal for something, or if someone doesn’t like you for who you are naturally, maybe it is time to move on. Now, don’t get me wrong, if everything I named above is something that makes you happy, then continue to do it, continue to be you and focus your mental health on something else.
Self-care is physical, but if you don’t take care of the mental, the physical will fall apart.