Today’s post discusses a topic hard for me. The first love, in my life, frustrated me. It’s time to move on and forgive.
Every breath I take, I reminisce on life without you. Throughout my life, I believed that this was normal and that this feeling of emptiness was how life was supposed to be. Having all the significant people in my life, but none that came close to you.
The touch, the feel the essence of being was just a fragment of my imagination. No one to cry to, hug me, and teaching me the importance of being a woman worth more than rubies. That rare diamond in the rough.
As a teen, I was naive, ungrateful, and disassociated myself from others, because they were not you. You were supposed to be my protector, my rock, the light at the end of the tunnel, but you were not there, and yes, I felt all alone.
My mother taught me how to be a woman. She showed me how to carry myself, love myself, and how to be treated by a man. Yet, I never understood my worth, my value, or my beautiful imagery, because you did not help me blossom into a beautiful flower.
Going through life, the fire within me, blew out. It was water down, broken, and lost the spark I needed. Then I found him. I found a man to love, hold me, and walked me through the life I never knew. The life I never knew because I didn’t have you.
Today, I want to say I forgive you!
I forgive you for not being the man of my dreams and for not being there for me. I forgive you for me not knowing what a father should be.
As I walk through my life, I realized I had daddy issues. I stopped loving, trusting, and giving my all to a man I loved, because of you. As I look into his eyes and see the joys he brings to our children, I know that although he will never replace you, he allowed me to love and be whole.
Forgiveness is difficult, but I have to forgive you, so that I may truly appreciate me.
Today, let go of the hurt and pain someone else caused you. To move forward, you must first let go.
Forgiveness and Grace go hand and hand!