I am intelligent, kind, beautiful, amazing, and unique. I am not perfect, a model or a superwoman. What I am is me.
As I take this journey through life, I have realized that I’m not everything that I set out to be. I have worked hard to be all the things I told myself to be, but every day is a failure. I’ve focused on finding peace and happiness in others rather than within myself. I am a people pleaser but have learned it’s never enough.
Mask on my face to be everything everyone else wants me to be. Am I too kind, too mean, too caring, not caring enough? Am I the smartest, the funniest, or am I nothing at all? Each day, I try to prove to people that I’m a wondrous person. But each day I seem to piss someone off.
Journeying through life, I realized I’m tired of what others think. It’s a mental, physical, and in some cases, spiritual wear and tears within me. But how do I break free? I have used self-care as getting my hair done, nails done, washing my face, and doing yoga, but self-care is so much more.
While talking to family and friends, I expressed how my spiritual journey has been a tough one. I trust and believe in God but have second-guessed does he know me. Yes, I know he knows me, but does he know me. Have I lived the life of a true believer, have I trusted in him in everything I do, or am I one of those convenient Christians?
A convenient Christian is someone who:
- prays when they’re in need
- Does not meditate or study God or his word
- The way you act around one group of people is different from others.
- And the ultimate no-no, God is not always the center or focus in everything you do.
I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live my life with God Conveniently.
So, where do I go from here? To better prepare myself, I have enlisted help from family and friends. I have committed myself to re-understand who God is.
How do you go about relearning who God is?
- take time to meditate in a quiet space, preferably in nature (outside in the backyard is fine)
- pray and ask God for clarity and peace
- On days when I’m lost and confused, I ask God for guidance to a scripture.
- find a Bible plan that fits things you’re going through.
- Keep a circle of family and friends who are strong in faith, and supportive of you on your journey.
- trust in God with all your heart.
I’m still working on my journey, and each day I pray tomorrow will come.
As you journey through life, figure out what self-care journey you need to follow. Everyone is different, but trusting in God should be the top of the self-care journey.