Dealing with the Uncomfortable

In life, we are all tasked with things that make us uncomfortable. Maybe it is public speaking, writing a blog, rekindling an old relationship, or finding your purpose.

This past year, I have dealt with some very uncomfortable situations. Like everyone else, there was a stay-at-home order due to a pandemic. I became a temporary teacher, started this blog, and participated in a consistency blog challenge. 2020, I finally convinced myself to go to therapy, learning to be vocal and vulnerable again, yet, the hardest thing for me in 2020 was rekindling a relationship I thought would never exist. Had you told me five years ago that I would consider a relationship with an ex-friend, I would have said you were lying. Well, after living in a pandemic and Trump as president, anything is possible.

Recently, while at work, an acquaintance of mines reached out, stating an old friend wanted to reach out to me. I was so surprised that my response was, I am shocked she wants to communicate with me. Naturally, I entertained the idea, and boom, 20 minutes later, I was on the phone with a woman I had not spoken to in almost six years.

This discussion made me stop and evaluate the reality of our breakup. Honestly, I could not recall, let alone understand the why behind our breakup. The only conclusion I could come up with was that we were a bunch of immature women. Yes, women learning how to be young wives and mothers, all while trying to “support” each other and secretly tearing down each other. Yes, I said tearing down each other. What, you think your friends never tore you down to your face or behind your back? Think again! As I said, we were young and had immature mindsets.

As we continued to talk, we both had to agree, the idea of friendship was an option, but we both needed to take time. We both are still healing from the invisible wounds.

I forgot to mention my old friend has a daughter that is two weeks younger than my eldest. It is funny because her daughter was supposed to be born first, but my daughter had shown up a little early. When they were little, they were best friends and inseparable. To make matters worst, this woman was my youngest Godmother, so to end things was a blow to my gut. My youngest never really knew her until recently. What is worse, our girls did not know each other anymore. Something so simple as a misunderstanding led to years of trauma, turmoil, and therapy.

Looking back, I cannot say I regret the lost time because it made both of us the strong women and mothers we are today. I will say I hope our relationship can become better than it is, and what it was.

God does not put too much on us that we cannot bear. Had she not reached out, who knows where we would be today. Surprisingly, a conversation with her daughter and my blog post about friendship is what led us here today.

God is amazing that way.

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